Coffee vs. Alcohol

The conclusion was clear: Why would anyone want to feel like this? Although I never became a teetotaler, I knew — especially when I woke up the next morning with a hangover — that I would cast my lot with caffeine, not with alcohol. Why would I wish my senses to be dulled when they could be sharpened? Why would I wish to forget when I could remember? Why would I wish to mumble when I could scintillate? Of course, since even in those days I was a loquacious workaholic who liked to stay up late, you might think I’d pick a drug that would nudge me closer to the center of the bell curve instead of pushing me farther out on the edge — but of course I didn’t. Who does? Don’t we all just keep doing the things that make us even more like ourselves?

—Anne Fadiman